Heartbreak: Five Ways to Heal

Heartbreak: Five Ways to Heal

Itohan Ferguson

At a time in an adult’s life, heartbreak will be a reality and love would inevitably come to an end. Relationships move in three inevitable cycles.

First is the honeymoon stage: at this stage, the love is new and strong. It is at its peak, and one is usually blind to their partner’s imperfections. There is the feeling of floating in a euphoric Cloud. The honeymoon stage varies for the sexes and may not last for long.

The Second stage of love is realisation: this is quite crucial in a relationship. The blinds of the honeymoon stage have fallen off an individual’s eyes and they become aware of their partner’s imperfections. How a couple wades through the realisation stage is a determining factor if they stay together or not.

If there are understanding and patience at their partner’s imperfections, the relationship will pull through. It is at this point those who find love for the wrong reason, realise that their partner may have outlived his or her usefulness.

The Breakup Stage: at this stage, the couple realises that it is best to stay apart than remain together. Then sets in the heartbreak of love lost. Usually, the partner who loves the deepest feels the pain most of all.

Here is how to heal from a heartbreak:

Accept that there is life beyond your partner: it is difficult to let go, because of the fear of starting over. One must remember what it was, before love. This is a rediscovery process for an individual, to find themselves sans their partner.

Embrace the Pain: the pain of a broken heart is poignant that it often manifests into physical pain. It is unbearable that many would do anything to numb or escape the pain. However, the process of healing entails going through that pain. I promise, what lies on the other side is worth it.

Avoid the object of your desire: it is a mistake to think that the one who caused us pain, can take the pain away; they cant. It is only postponing the inevitability of loss to run towards the object of our heartbreak, rather than avoid them. To emotionally detox after a separation, it is best to avoid consuming new information about the object of our desires. This means no calls, visits, interactions or texting. Heck! blocking them on social media is a good idea.

Distract yourself with self-improving pursuits: now you have all that time on your hands, time your love interest previously monopolized. It is best to invest in things that improve you, such as; reading a book, travelling, getting an education, learning a new language, expanding your business etc. When your time is wisely invested in these pursuits, you temporarily distract yourself from brooding. It is also best at this stage to be in wholesome social gatherings with friends and family. It is not a good idea to jump into another relationship.

Give Time, time: none of these aforementioned steps would matter if you do not give Time, time. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal.

Happenings Media