A great table with a lot of Nigerians on it was recently shattered after a sex therapist, named Adunni, took to her social media handle to share an interesting piece about the sexual life of most Nigerians.
Explaining that Nigerians are afraid to push the envelope, she gave a thought provoking insight thus: "As a sex therapist, Nigerians are afraid of having proper sex which I've seen in my shoe line of work. I see these things daily and I am scared for the future.
“Why is it hard for Nigerian men to please their wives? Why can't you eat your wife out and stuff? Why do women think for them to be wife material, you shouldn't bleep your husband really good? Why would you think to give your husband a mind blowing mouth gig followed by a doggy will not make you a wife material? The men are also guilty of this, hence they wife a lady who isn't sexually satisfying and keep numerous side chicks then when the woman is also sexually frustrated, she steps out on the man too.".
She couldn't have been more apt. The issue with us as Nigerians is our hypocrisy and holier than thou attitude. We act overly religious but not spiritual and we take this into our intimate lives with our partners, leading to sexually frustrated partners who can't seem to communicate about their wants because sex as a topic is frowned upon and the women don't want to be seen as loose or sexually aware to avoid reprimand from their husbands.
So, rather than have the issue resolved and find ways to bring spark back into the bedroom, they resort stealthily to having affairs behind each other's backs.
Couples should be more enlightened and discuss their sexual needs and know that they are compatible before coming together.
Being religious doesn't exempt talking about sex. If anything, it enhances togetherness and ensures that you don't feel cheated and blackmailed into a marriage.
Once you feel you are cheated or sexually dissatisfied, find a way to communicate this to your spouse, either verbally or as a written note placed where he or she will find it. Then calmly have the conversation and why it is important to you that you are sexually pleased in bed. Hopefully, this will be the beginning of change in your sexual game.