Pastor Tony Rapu of the House of Freedom Church in Lagos stated recently on social media that love alone cannot keep a marriage.
Pastor Tony, who has been married for 30 years, is clearly speaking from experience. He stated that most couples who get married do it because they are in love and they usually believe that the feeling will last a lifetime.
The problem with this is that, we can't rely on feelings alone. Feelings can change depending on so many external factors and they often do. If your marriage is based on feelings, what then happens when the feelings begin to feel as they inevitably will? The marriage has nothing to stand on. If the only reason you got married was because you were in love, then you have no reason to stay married when the feelings are no longer there.
True love he said is not what you feel, it is what you do. He went on and on, ending with the fact that true love is and should be for real grown ups. Of course, he is spot on on this. Love can never be enough reason to get married to someone.
Marriage is a tough job and there are so many problems that would shake the union to its feet and would tear the affections down. But other things which a couple had put in place before marriage will help keep things afloat and minimise issues when they crop up, like sharing same values and ideals. This is essential to reducing the number of fights and disagreements in the home.
No matter how much you profess love to an individual there would be moments that will test your so-called love, like illnesses. You will see how they react when they don't have money and when they have money. Besides love, you should take note to see you share same ideals, perhaps work ethics, your goals and aspirations so you see that you are both in sync with each other and want the same things out of life. This makes your journey together smoother and with less friction.
Does that mean you shouldn't love and rather be more calculative about who you tie the knot with? Not exactly. Love is great and should be part of your reasons but it shouldn't be the BE ALL of why you want to settle down with an individual. Consider life after the novelty and feelings of love fade. Will you see the person the same way?