When we hear codependency, we are quick to deny it. No one wants to be codependent. They see it as being vulnerable, weak and frail. But the truth is, a lot of people are codependent and it is not totally a bad thing. We can’t do it all alone. We all rely on one person, whether we like it or not.
There is always that person we call when we are sick. It’s because we rely on the person to do a great job of taking care of us. It is the same way someone else relies on us. Codependency is when you worry excessively about others, you feel responsible for them. You struggle with your low self-esteem and you take things personally. Some call it a one-sided relationship. Here are some ways to stop being codependent:
1. Find out makes you dependent on your partner
Are you the one depending on this person or is this person taking too much from you? You need to find your purpose in this person’s life. You might not even know you are codependent until you search within yourself.
2. Set boundaries
Once you’ve figured out what makes you codependent, it is time to set boundaries. Realize that the things you do will not help you. You are only hurting yourself and you should stop.
3. Work through your past
Since so much of being codependent comes from the past, you will need to work through it. Think of that thing that made you lose yourself, that thing that broke you into pieces. Open the closet and walk right through. Let it all out!
4. Get help
Know you can’t do this alone. You have to find that supportive person. It could be your parents, friends or a therapist. Remove that toxicity from your life.
5. Put yourself first
You are so used to doing things for others, you are used to taking care of people, making sure they are fine. It’s time for you to take good care of yourself. Put yourself first in everything you do. Ask yourself, “Is this right for me?” And quit asking, “What is he going to think?” Or “Is this going to make him happy?” Make yourself happy and be good!