Relationships are beautiful and attractive at the same time, especially in the beginning. Some relationships last a lifetime, while others may only last a few days or months.
Before jumping into something new, there should always be things that you should consider first. You want to make sure you are ready for someone new and that you are not getting into something that you won’t be able to handle just yet.
Here are a few things to consider before starting a relationship.
1. Consider your relationship with God
While this may not sound like a logical place to start, we need to evaluate if we are in a good place with God at the moment. In order to have any hope of entering into a godly union with another person, we need to focus on getting ourselves in a place where we are strong in our own relationship with God. The Bible talks about not being “unequally yoked” with another person ( 2 Corinthians 6:14, NKJV ). In other words, we don’t want to choose someone who isn’t making God a priority.
2. Figure out why previous relationships failed
Before starting a new relationship, it's important to take some time to figure out why your past relationships failed. In a way, it’s like asking yourself if past relationships failed because of something you did or if it was your partner.
The reason it’s good to consider what went wrong in previous relationships is so that you can try to make or do things differently this time around.
3. Consider understanding yourself, sexually and emotionally
If you have not done the work of understanding yourself emotionally and sexually, you will likely enter romantic relationships from an emotionally dependent angle. You may have the unrealistic hope that someone else will know how to understand you and make you happy, even when you yourself may not know. Directly communicating with your partner about your emotions and your sexual side is important.
Hoping others will intuitively perceive who you are emotionally and what you need sexually is a fantasy. Make a conscious effort to become aware of your ongoing emotional reactions to the people and events in your life. Observe and label your emotional reactions. Reflect on your feelings and talk with people about how you feel or what you are noticing about yourself, without expecting them to put you back together again.
4. Be ready to try something new
One important thing to consider before jumping into a new relationship is if you are actually ready to get into something new. To be fair to the new partner, you want to make sure you're ready to commit without the past holding you back. This also means making sure you’re over your previous relationship.
If you are in school, try to consider whether or not you even have time for a relationship at the moment. The same goes for if you are in a busy and demanding career. If you are unsure about whether or not you are ready, you could always get into a relationship when you think it is the best time. There is nothing wrong with living the single life for as long as you need to.