6 Reasons Why Your Sex Life Sucks
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6 Reasons Why Your Sex Life Sucks

Are you a married couple struggling with a boring sex life? These six things may be what you are doing wrong.

Titilayo Olurin

You have done everything in the book. You have tried new positions, different locations and even experimented with props and toys, yet nothing has changed. Your sex life has remained the same - boring!

It is now a far cry from what it once was when you just got married. You are at the end of your tether, not sure what to do next.

Find out six things you may be doing wrong and how to correct them.

1. You follow routine

You may not even be aware of it but you are following a routine. You have sex only at night, when you are in bed, ready to sleep and the lights are out. By this time, you must have tucked the children in and cleaned out the kitchen for the night. So, it seems like the perfect time - except that it is not. No, not when you have a set time for sex.

Do not be stuck with routine. Learn to be spontaneous. Spoon sex as soon as you wake or have sex while taking a shower in the morning.

2. You have a permanent location for sex

Like it is not bad enough that you only have sex at night, you have confined this activity to the bedroom. You are now so used to it that you shrink at the mere thought of having sex elsewhere. Oh, bother! It is no wonder then that your sex life is boring.

Switch things up! Have a quickie in the bathroom, make out on the sitting room couch, do it in the kitchen. Just don’t make the bedroom a permanent location for sex.

3. You are not exploring

You do not want to seem like a slut, so you would rather not suggest to your husband to go down on you and he is probably thinking the same, too. All you do is kiss a little before you go straight to business and business is nothing more than the missionary style. *Yawn* Snooze fest.

Take time to explore your bodies and try different positions. There are so many to choose from that you will probably not be able to exhaust them all in a month. If, however, you find that you are uncomfortable with a position to the extent that it causes you physical pain, it is best not to continue.

4. You are overthinking

Am I moaning too loud? Does he find my constant whispering in his ear irritating? Should I tell her what to do? Oh, please, stop! Stop it already. Do not overthink anything. Just let it flow.

You are having sex with your spouse, someone you have kids with or hope to have kids with someday, and not some stranger. Sex was created for you. You can and should have it whenever, however, and wherever you want, as long as you both agree on it.

5. You have rules

No sex until after the dishes are done. Do not go up. Do not go down. Yadi yadi ya! Oh, I did not realize that you were in the courtroom where rules had to be followed. Yes, it is okay to set boundaries. But no, it is not okay to set stringent rules.

Remember, you are going with the flow. If you are both in the mood, and it is a convenient time and place, go for it. Do not wait till after dark or till you get to the bedroom. What if the moment passes? Sex is a huge part of your marriage and should not be joked with.

6. You are not talking about it

No! The heavens forbid we talk about it. Really? Since you are having sex, you might as well talk about it. You are not teenagers afraid of being caught in the act. You are a married couple with a legal and physical right to each other’s bodies. So, by all means, talk about it.

Your spouse would never know what you want or how to satisfy you if you do not talk about it. Plus, who better to discuss your sexual fantasies or frustrations with than your partner?

Happenings Media
www.happenings.com.ng