Dear Pink Mafia,
I have been married for four years and dating for two before that, when we were dating my husband and I didn’t have sex but only started once we got married. I write because I am concerned that I am being abused but I don’t know.
My husband and I argue a lot and after we have had the argument we always seem to end up in bed but when we have sex it is very rough, and painful, sometimes I even bleed, and when I complain, my husband tells me that angry sex is the best and that don’t I like it?
I don’t know how else to tell him that I don’t like us always have sex in anger and I am now afraid to sleep with him.
I am of the idea that if it hurts, you don’t want it and whatever it is, is being forced on you that is automatically a violation of your being. Based on what you have said above there are elements of abuse in your life, to be more specific sexual abuse.
As a counsellor the first thing I would say is GET OUT of an unsafe situation, I don’t mean divorce, I mean leave the space/ proximity because you don’t know when situations can escalate. Following this I would say speak to your husband with a counsellor to find out what is causing this and if he can get to understand why you don’t want this and why it must stop.
On a final note, this is your life and if this thing is damaging you, I don’t think that you should abide it just because you are married.
Dear Pink Mafia
My girlfriend is cheating on me and I don’t know what to do.
We have been dating for 10 years and engaged for 2 years and I love her (and she knows I love her), however she had been seeing a man in her office, and it isn’t just having sex, it’s also going out, in fact it’s a very public affair.
When I questioned her about it she said that other than my ‘unwillingness’ to marry her, he is a more exciting partner in bed.
I love her, and I want to marry her but I don’t know what to do?
I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend is cheating on you, it is never easy when your trust has been broken but let us get a few facts straight.
When you get the answer of the above I believe you will be able to answer if you should marry her, and what to do.