Dear Pink Mafia,
I have never been a person to ever write to help pages but here we are.
I am a woman in my late 40’s and I am going through menopause, and this is the first time I have actually admitted it out loud.
My issue is that while I am still sexually active and I get aroused I no longer ‘get wet’.
My guy is great about it but I am frustrated, I used to be like a geyser now I can barely break a drizzle.
What can I do about this?
As I’m sure you know menopause is the time in your life when your body changes and between hot flashes, the headaches etc. Unfortunately, with this also comes vaginal dryness (no rest for the women).
As menopause is a natural part of life, it also means that part of this process of going dry is natural; you may not be able to so anything about getting wet naturally, but there are many artificial ways, and one of the ways is with lubes. Lubes can be your nest friend during sex.
I don’t mean Lube like the type used for cars, but sexual lubricants which can both stimulate and also provide the much needed wetness that you desire. The good thing about sexual lubricants is that they not only do the above, they also come in all types so if you want one that adds that extra spark to the process, go for those with stimulants.
As you go through this phase of your life, remember you are still a vibrant and beautiful woman who is just at the peak of her sexual life; so don’t neat yourself about it- just enjoy!
I need your help, I think I am a sex addict.
I cannot stop thinking about sex, I masturbate about 6 times a day, at a certain point I used to sit in meetings and put my hand in my pocket to stroke myself. This is now a very big problem and I don’t know what to do or where to go.
I can’t give a pat answer on this because this is something that really needs to be explored fully, we need to find out when this started, how and the general circumstances.
The only advice I can give you is to explore counselling because this has been known to destroy lives and it would be a shame that it does the same to you when you can get the help you need. Counselling might not come readily in Nigeria; however you can start by talking with your doctor; who can help with further medical therapy that will begin to address your addiction.
It is also important you share it with your partner (if it is a committed relationship), so they can provide the much needed empathy and support as you work your way out through medical and psychological treatment.