By Temidayo Ahanmisi
Usually when a woman opposes a humanity right, or the establishment of good in favour of all women, it is nothing personal.
Her concerns are usually about how a hated female acquaintance – relative, friend, enemy, coworker should not access said privileges.
Propose a bill to establish rights of equal inheritance between women and men, and you would have as much women – rich and poor alike – opposing it as men.
It really is nothing personal. It is just the business of being victimized by patriarchy….and the stories it tells.
It is about avoiding the tragedy of a sister or daughter-in-law becoming rich besides being a personalized offence.
We have been socialized as a collective to regard the archetypal rich woman as diabolical – a cruel, greedy cretin, so that there is always a crossroads presented to our females – money vs. virtue.
You can’t have both.
All the guardians of our pop culture seem to agree on one thing alone – control the ambitions, the rights to happiness, indeed the humanity of the female, and society would be the better for it.
That this is balderdash of course is only too obvious.
The countries which the female folk are most restricted have higher poverty indices, and the quality of life is generally poor.
“Pack your things and leave my house…” is a most harrowing line that has been perhaps used by more than a quarter of Nigerian men in conflicts with their wives.
It is the most dreadful turn of events in any Nigerian union, where patriarchy has ensured that financial poverty is an accepted feminine state of affairs.
Nigerian women are some of the best dressed in the world today. The women’s fashion industry gulps huge piles of money from us, yet this is where women are least likely to own their own homes or any form of real estate at that. All that fashion with little ambition or opportunities for true wealth. The paradox.
It is common to see female heavyweights in just about every single field put on the spot with the “home question”.
The unspoken query seems to be:
“While you are out there “playing man”, who cleans up after the kids; who puts them to bed; who makes sure they are fed; what do you do to get sexed by the males you seem keen to upstage; why is your station not enough for you…?”
The ambition of the female person is more usually regarded with varying measures of scorn and amusement. It can only be contentious or an unnecessary freak event.
Unfortunately women are not exempted from the stance of aggressor to their own ascent, both from within and without.
Women more commonly engage in apologetics about their own financial success. The married go to painful lengths to reassure society that they would never have achieved any success without the support of the husband…and that they are eternally grateful to be so deemed worthy to be recipients of such acts of grace.
The unmarried usually have their stock demons to contend with…what with having to fend off the foisted toga of undesirability by the males – a definite”failing” in a society which runs on the fuel of misogyny.
It is common to hear women running for public office, for instance, declare a readiness to drop their ambition at the slightest hint of discontent from the spouse, or even children.
Men do not have to grapple with such choices. The male ambition is only natural and proper.