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#AskHappenings: Help! My wife spends too much money!

Mfonobong Akpan

Dear Happenings,

My wife’s spending is out of control and it’s becoming a strain on our marriage and finances. We are presently trying to save up to build our own home but her excessive spending isn’t helping our savings. I’ve talked to her about it several times but she would say it’s her money and isn’t spending that much anyway. The most distressing part is that she buys things she really doesn’t need. What should I do?



Money can easily become an issue in a marriage especially when one spouse spends more than than what is earned, therefore, whether the spending habit was there before the union or it occurs  as the marriage progresses it must be addressed before it spirals out of control.

Don’t attack in your approach to addressing the issue, try to help her understand the damaging long term effects her spending habits can have on the family, putting in view your future plans.

You need to help her understand that though she earns her own money and has a right to spend it on what she deems fit, she needs to equally contribute her quota to the family.

You both can come up with a budget that shows what your total income is and what all of your expenses are so you stay within the budget and still save up.

I’m sure your wife wants the same securities as you do for your family, but since this financial habits most times have been formed before adulthood, it would take some conscious effort to break. So you need to patiently help her through this.

Most couples want to know their input is respected and they want some freedom and trust.

But if she can’t help herself, you can suggests she leaves her debit card at home or with you and she can also put aside a certain amount of money that she can spend on her personal needs.

In the end, it’s a change that would happen gradually.

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