#AskHappenings: I let my babymama into my home

#AskHappenings: I let my babymama into my home

Mfonobong Akpan

Dear Happenings,

My wife is really upset right now and I don’t know what I should do. Before My wife and I got married I had a son with someone else whom I dated for about a year but broke it off because things weren’t working out between us. I have been responsible for my sons welfare ever since. My wife and I have no children yet but she accepts him as hers. My son’s mother recently lost her apartment and she asked if she and our son stay at my place till she can get someplace else. I talked to my wife about it and she only accepted that my son stay and not his mother.

My son’s mum begged me and I don’t know what happened but I let her in my home. My wife has been so upset ever since. I know I went against her wishes but I just think it’s only for a while and the only relationship I have with her is because of my child. What do I do now please.




Dear Lanre,

Your wife has every right to be upset. Put yourself in her shoes. It’s hard enough she has to deal with the fact that you have a child with another woman and then you bring the woman into your home. You must understand that she is simply protecting her interests/

It wasn’t fair for you to let your babymama in your home, even after she told you she didn’t want this. She has a right to think that you are exposing your relationship to danger. You are human, you dated her once and have a child with her. Have you stopped to think about the possibility that your son’s mum still has feelings for you and is using your son as a pawn to get back with you?

I want to assume your babymama must have a source of income, family and friends she could conveniently put up with till she gets her issues sorted. 

Apologise to your wife and find a way to get this woman out of your home. If you need to help her financially, but staying in your home isn’t an option. Remember the only relationship you have is your son. Don’t jeopardise your marriage over this avoidable issue.

Good luck.


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