#AskHappenings: Should I tell my boyfriend I slept with someone else?

#AskHappenings: Should I tell my boyfriend I slept with someone else?

Mfonobong Akpan

Dear Happenings,

My boyfriend and I had a misunderstanding and were separated for a while, and while we were apart, I happened to get intimate (sex) with some other guy. Now I’m in a dilemma because my boyfriend and I recently decided to get back together, and I’m confused about telling him what happened with the other guy. Should I tell him or not?



Dear Carol,

This situation you’re in could be quite tricky because you are trapped between telling the truth and risking damaging the relationship. Secrets are quite common in most relationships but how do you determine what to tell and what to leave under wraps.

Sure there are a few things you may not need to let your partner know, but there are a few others that cannot be kept in the dark. In this case, I sincerely believe that this is a great opportunity to come clean about everything that might affect your relationship negatively in the future.

Even though it may seem minor to you, you must be open with your partner so you don’t get into any unnecessary issues in future. And since you seem to be getting serious you should let him know. It’s better you do than him finding out later and then messing things up.

Ask yourself – What’s the motivation behind wanting to let him know? If it’s for selfish reasons and not for the greater good of your relationship, then maybe you might want to reconsider.

Don’t go into this new phase with any extra baggage waiting to likely explode. Build this on authenticity, trust and true intimacy. If after you do let him know and he chooses not to go ahead, then  maybe you really aren’t meant to be. The one who loves you would accept you, no matter the drama you come with – at least they’d be open to trying to make it work without judgement.

Wish you luck.


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