#AskHappenings: Help! Was I his rebound?

#AskHappenings: Help! Was I his rebound?

Mfonobong Akpan

Dear Happenings,

I met and started dating this guy for about two months. We met on a chat site and kicked it off almost immediately. It was just like magic, we connected on almost every level. He was nice and sweet. He had just gotten out of a relationship which I know meant a lot to him because she often got mentioned in our conversations. But he assured me though that he was over her. Then all of a sudden he began redrawing . I asked what was going on but he said he needed some time. I feel used and broken-hearted because I thought we had something here. What could have gone wrong? Did he really care about me? Was I just a rebound for him?



Dear Hannah,

Worst case scenario, you were his rebound.

Often times when break-ups happen, chances are the individuals would look for activities or persons to douse the pain, so they end up finding the closest person who gives them attention to help them get back on their feet, and once they do the other person becomes unnecessary in their lives and they will simply move on.

It’s good to talk about past relationships when you meet someone for the first time because you tend to learn a few vitals that could help with the present. He probably still has emotions invested in that other relationship especially since he brought her up in your conversations.  That was a red flag you ignored.

If there is one thing to know about rebound relationships is that most times they never last. Here are a few things to look for if you suspect your partner isn’t over their ex: He just wants the relationship to stay casual; is eager to introduce you to the world as his new girl, and when he does, his friends and family are surprised he’s moved on so quickly; He would also use every excuse to bring her up with you; He’s more physical with you than wanting to get serious.

It takes time to get over someone you truly loved. For some, it may take a few weeks and for others longer. Maybe he wasn’t just ready emotionally and you didn’t notice the signs.

Chances are you  rushed into it too soon and he wasn’t ready to be committed like that.

It can be really hurtful to go through what you’re feeling right now, but you shouldn’t beat yourself up too much. Just move on. Allow him the space he’s asked for to deal with the pain himself, trust me, you don’t want to put yourself in that awful position as his emotional dumping ground.

Thanks for writing us and good luck Hannah.

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