Walk into any exam hall anywhere in the world and you’ll basically see the same hilarious picture; sweaty palms/ faces haunted by seemingly intellectual gibberish written on the paper, clueless folks who don’t just get the reason for exams, over confident geniuses smirking at the golden opportunity to prove themselves once again… Yep! We might look different but we’re the same.
Today we bring you a fascinating list of students in an exam hall (Ps: don’t deny it, you belong to at least one category):
Late comers: They spend the entire night cramming all the answers, but because “witches” from their village mean business, they sleep off after their “hard work” only to wake one hour gone into the exam time. Their entrance into the hall is epic!
Expo experts: Whether microchip, expo or… oh yeah! I know you know what I’m talking about. Lol. These students can write an entire textbook on their thighs, palms, in their bra, on their desk and not get caught -Wow!
Last minute readers/ writers, aka tension buzzers; Time for submission even with the invigilator’s close by, you’ll see them reading and scanning their exam sheet like their whole life depends on it, till it’s literally grabbed out of their hands.
Copiers: The lord sure works in mysterious ways; Funny how desperate times call for desperate measures. Ever seen a giraffe? No matter how much you try to hide the answers on that script it don’t work- They’ve got inbuilt binoculars in those eyes dedicated to the “course.”
Scape goat: There’s always one person whose luck runs out in the cheating game; who would inspire the invigilator to show his “ability”.
Friends for life: A clique dedicated to passing together; so they split the answering of questions amongst themselves based on knowledge.
Askers: They might not know but they live by the golden rule – “Ask and it shall be…” . They might be proud, but once in the exam hall they forget the word “ego” ever existed and bug the smart ones till they yield.
Borrowers: When you’ve got a whole bunch of students why bother about extra luggage, right? These fellas lend every and anything; from biro(s) to erasers to ruler… it just never stops. Oh Please!
The Holy pass: Imagine someone going deaf all of a sudden? Well that’s the perfect picture here; you could plead on your mother’s grave and even promise them the whole world but smart ass wouldn’t even budge- No talking in the exam hall and that’s final.
First to finish: Badoos! There’re two sets involved here; first – they’ve got no idea what the course is about so they submit basically blank sheets and fail with dignity, while the more “privileged” other “believe themselves die!”. They boldly submit before everyone with this belief – ‘I don finish work!’
Smart ass: This is constant; in every exam there must be at least one person who notices that a question isn’t quite right or even better, the other who asks if all questions in all sections should be answered? Really?
Extra sheet consumers: ‘Excuse me sir, Can I have an extra sheet?’; You’ll always have those intimidating kids who just keep asking for more sheets while you’re still struggling to fill up even one! Are you kidding me?
Biting Biros: There’re bored out of their minds, don’t know what to write and can’t help keeping busy.
Prayer warrior who needs a miracle: Talk about repentance! Right there in the exam hall they turn negotiator/ prayer warrior; the conversation between them and God goes a little something like this – ” Okay lord Jesus, I’ve learnt my lesson, please have mercy! Save me just this once, I promise to be good”…
Epp me sir: “Manipulators “ Begging mode activated; These submit blank sheets accompanied with a prayer dedicated to whoever is marking their script – ‘Please help me, God will bless you and your family’
or the desperate ladies bring out their “inner spunk”; *Hair twisting* *Eyes rolling* accompanied by “can we see later sir? in the sweetest voice.
Careless strollers with swag – School has never been for them and there’re just here for the record. They don’t give a hoot about failing and very well come late strolling like they own the world. Omo see swag!