10 Typical Naija Neighbours!
Lifestyle

10 Typical Naija Neighbours!

Yvonne Williams

Whether you move to a flat, bungalow, duplex or mansion one thing you can’t run away from – Neighbours! You could be anti social, introverted, standoffish… whatever, but there’s no denying that you’ll at least get to bump in time to time with good old neighbours. Today we cast the spotlight to our very own Naija – the land of “warmth and friendliness” as we bring you 10 neighbours we bet you’ve met.

Beggers

“Stocking up” – Big joke! I mean with reliable neighbours at our beck and call, who needs to “waste money”on unnecessary shopping; from salt, to maggi, iron and chargers, just say that magic word – “Please” and voila! We’ve got it – “Nne, please epp me with…”

Nosy neighbour

Call them “amebo”, “olofofo”,  gossips... they don’t care! It’s all about curiosity, getting “in tune with one’s environment”; If Baba Yetunde who is “happily married” decides to be messing around with small small girls, then someone’s got to spill to Mama Yetunde – the “sacred bond” must be protected! Yes, the amebos are faithful gate keepers and this call of duty, they perform with all diligence indeed!

None existent neighbours

Come rain, come shine, these ones are forever within the four corners of their home; It doesn’t matter if the whole world comes crashing down, their faces you never get to see and that’s final! Daily routine? Rush out pretty early in the morning, come back late at night – “Ah…home sweet home – privacy at last!”

Constant washers

Chia! These set of people can annoy someone! The type of calculation  you do just to have space to spread your very few clothes is more than further maths; If you like, wake up 4 am, their clothes will be there smirking at you, in the night nko? the same thing. The worst thing is that these set of people can wash the world of clothes which will fill the whole lines – God forbid!

Fighting couple

Once a “lovable pair” who graced the streets with their contagious laughter and striking resemblance, one year later and they’ve become Tom and Jerry who never see eye to eye; it doesn’t matter what time it is, whether midnight or early in the morning, neighbours will be awaken by heavy blows and Iya Junior’s unmistakable screams; |”O… God! they’ve started again!” 

Noisy gen owners

Yes, yes, their generators always announce their painful arrival and trust me, this set always have fuel; scarcity or not, the generator must fulfill its purpose till its very last breath!

Pig headed neighbours

Stubborn kids playing football front, right and centre and “mistakenly:” throwing their “precious ball” in another compound…the unrepentant neighbour who immediately turns deaf and leaves you banging his door and calling his cell phones for hours, refusing to come and repack… the list is endless! All shades of annoying!

Debtors

Nepa bill, contribution … NEVER! These ones have sworn in their hearts not to contribute a penny and nothing, not even threats of eviction can change their minds. They never have money for anything. “Hmm.. these people don’t know me, one naira, they will not see, sef – kuku kill me”

Womanizers

These ones have no shame whatsoever and discard girls like trash; anything goes , no preference  – Today orobo, tomorrow lepa, as long as there’s something under, you’re their type. “Abeg free me, after all nobody holy pass”

Perfect neighbours

Friendly, lovable and polite at the same time; these are the kind of neighbours who deserve the “perfect” title cos there’re  just perfect! They’re there to settle quarrels, ask after your children and your spouse if they haven’t set their eyes on them for a while, but somehow, they manage not to get too close to encroach on your space or invade you privacy – Nice!

Happenings Media
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