Just yesterday you were all dolled up, heading for the altar smiling sheepishly ready to say your I do’s, now you look at your eight year old daughter and out of the blues, it dawns – your baby would soon become a teenager… an adult who gets to handle certain decisions…like losing her virginity and all… oh dear, you realise that much dreaded “Sex talk” has to happen sooner or later or else those x rated television shows would be doing your job quite disastrously! So just how do you teach a young child about sex, good judgement and self control without it becoming an awkward mess? Don’t sweat it, 5 tips to ease the journey;
It’s pretty understandable to feel uncomfortable talking to your little one about sex, don’t fret it, it gets easier with time. Kids need to understand how their bodies function, the developmental process, premarital sex, its dangers and consequences. Teaching them about sex is very important because most times they don’t feel the need to explore to get better understanding since you’ve got them covered. Sex education teaches kids to make responsible choices. So if you’ve got as kid between ages 6 – 12, you better start talking.
No don’t go down that road of calling privates nicknames; “Mr bunny”...call the body parts by name; “penis,” / “vagina,”, this helps your child feel comfortable talking to you about their body parts, which helps in cases of rape and sexual assault. You might tend to feel embarrassed at first, but stand firm, you’ll get used to it before you realise. Remove that sense of taboo about mentioning the vagina and penis and you’ll be saying hello to better communication with your child.
Yes you have valid concerns that’s normal, but you giving kids the impression that sex is a bad act which should be avoided, might as well be setting them up for utmost rebellion and in milder cases, confusion. Don’t paint sex as bad, that’s unforgivably misleading. No one’s saying you have to go into specifics, you could stress its dangers – sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies…when talking about sex, so it the message sinks and they don’t launch right ahead.
Your child should be able to talk to you freely about his/her privates. Make them understand it’s not okay for them to get touched in the privates and if at all it does happen, they need to tell you asap. Kids need to trust you and they shouldn’t feel like they can’t or will get in trouble for confiding in you. Make them look up to you but be their pal too.
Make them understand the meaning of consent – the ultimate power to say ‘No’, when he/she feels uncomfortable with touches . Your child should understand that body parts such as the vagina and penis are prohibited from everyone including aunties and uncles even mum and dad but they can only touch down there when they want to clean them up. Any touch other than that is inappropriate and should not be entertained. Feeding them with honest information about their bodies create deeper understanding and control.
Sex talk encompasses actual sex; you can go biological; anatomy, bodily functions and all. Normalizing this so called “taboo” subject with your child, leads to a more open environment where your kid boldly walks up to you with his concerns, trusting they’ll get a trustworthy answer, rather than an outsider who might not have the best of intentions.
Having regular sex talks with your kid might not sound so exciting, but you’ve got to keep in mind it’ll pay off eventually. Teach your kid about sex, it’s the ultimate tool against faceless perverts out there!