Kids are kids; sometimes they’re just simply adorable you just want to cuddle and spoil them silly with kisses, other times however, they can be little brats who get on your last nerve and at those times, parents tend to say some pretty damaging words which they sooner regret.. Parents your words are much more powerful than you realise, patience at all times is key. Each time you feel like breaking the roof, just take a really deep breath and try to talk yourself out of it. 5 things you should never say to your kids;
Believe it or not, these simple words are the most damaging words you can tell your boy. In as much as you feel like those words are meant to motivate him to become “tougher”, they only confine him into becoming emotionless, bottling everything up and not being able to express his feeling; his fears, sorrows and all. It is important that you let your son get in touch with his emotions – Stop feeding him with the whole – “big boys don’t cry.” because they most certainly do. Everyone is entitled to their expressing their emotions – boys are allowed to cry and no, it doesn’t make them any less masculine. Letting his emotions out can go a long way towards healing. It is important for kids to learn to express their emotions so they don’t become hardened adults.
Parents most times often map out how their kids should act; “boys are meant to like cars and guns while girls are supposed to like dolls and girly stuff”, so when your boy stays experimenting with say, tailoring or shows interest in cooking, it becomes grave cause for concern. Well look around you; we’ve got great people excelling in sectors which going by societal standards and expectations they shouldn’t even have ventured into in the first place. Stop limiting your kid! You might just be preventing them from achieving their dreams/ being the genius the world needs.
Although your intentions might be noble, you’re definitely going about it the wrong way. Calling your child a loser or constantly declaring he/she’s an idiot who doesn’t just get anything right is a great blow to his self esteem; it’s demeaning and makes them feel inadequate/insecure, incapable of getting anything right. You might think shaming is a good way to punish your kid/ make your message sink, it isn’t because it’s even doing more damage in the long run. Your kid becomes isolated and timid with a low self esteem because you’ve made them believe they aren’t any good. Mistakes are made so people can learn from them, let your kids learn, don’t beat them up for it.
Congratulations! You’ve succeeded in making your child feel inadequate and driving a wedge between your children. Envy, anger, inferiority complex are part of the things your kid gets to deal with. No one likes being compared- even kids, it never does any good. Instead of it spurring your kid, comparing only breeds rebellion and envy. And in some cases, the seemingly preferred kid tends to feel superior to the less preferred sibling which affects their relationship. Those words breed sibling rivalry which is often disastrous. Each time you feel that way, remember each kid is unique in their own way.
Regardless of whether or not you your spouse is an idiot , you should never let that be known when talking to your kid, don’t call your spouses unprintable names in front of them. Always remember kids are fragile and every word you say is a message, speaking poorly about anyone sends the wrong message. They grow up thinking its okay to talk about people that way or talk down at people. Besides, it’s uncomfortable for kids to hear their parents saying negative things about each other. Kids should grow up in a stable and loving environment, not one filled with resentment or hate.
Parents always remember your words are delicate; so kindly put a lid on that method of constructive criticism! You are damaging your kid’s self esteem.