Thinking of saying “I do” sometime soon? You should read this!
We’ve said this before, marriage is bigger than you and your partner. But for the most part, it is about you and your partner. So, for the sake of your partner, you cannot be certain ways or do certain things as you start that journey. You’ve been the way you’ve been for at least two decades. The sooner you start cleaning out your cupboard of skeletons, the better it would be.
Do not assume that your partner will just have to deal with your skeletons because ‘it’s the way you are”. You might think that it’s not a problem because it’s the other person getting upset or uncomfortable, but no matter what, it’s like a boomerang. You mirror this person and so it will always come back to you.
We all know the toothpaste marriage story, the one that the couple got divorced right after getting married because the guy pushes out the toothpaste from the middle of the tube and not the bottom. Well, we will be using that story as our case “story”.
We know that you are a no-nonsense person and you can’t stand certain things, which when listed are almost innumerable. That’s great but you cannot go into marriage with that character trait. Marriage requires the most amount of patience because, as stated above, this other person has been the way they are for over two decades. You will have to compromise and be wise and mature about certain issues. You will have to learn to allow or correct or teach new habits or behaviours and you cannot achieve that if you are not patient enough to teach or learn.
2. Being bossy and being a lone wolf
You’ve achieved so much by yourself and no one can take that away from you. But you’re getting married now, and marriage is the complete opposite concept of being a loner or Mr or Miss Independent. You will need to learn to be vulnerable with your partner, to run decisions and ideas by your partner before executing them. You will need to share a space with your partner, share your time and your body because you are signing up to share your life with this person. It’s not just you anymore.
3. Dependence and irresponsibility
There is nothing more frustrating than carrying a liability, and because marriage is forever, the weight of the consequence attached to irresponsible people will be upon the responsible one. You can want to get married and still depend on your family for the most basic things. No one is saying you need to be super rich but you should be able to hold your own regardless of your gender. For the sake of your self-esteem and self-image, be financially and emotionally independent, keeping in mind that everything should be proportional.
4. Stereotypical role placement
It is the 21st century, please! Let us drop every gender typical role placement and be open to assisting each other where and when every help is needed and the other party is not incapacitated or unable to assist, especially with the kids. We are a more enlightened generation.