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This Is Why Keeping Scores Is Bad For Your Relationship

Keeping scores in your relationship? See reasons why you should not.

Titilayo Olurin

Nothing spells doom for a relationship like keeping scores. You keep track of all the good - real or imagined - that you do for your partner. You have a record of the sacrifices you have made for your significant other and throw it in their face at the slightest provocation. You are not in a hurry to forget when your partner fails to return a favour.

Doing these things is as petty as it is spiteful and can damage the bond you share with your partner. Here, find four ways keeping scores in your relationship can be destructive.

1. It builds up resentment

When you keep a record of your partner's mistakes and misdeeds, you start to harbour resentment towards them and lash out at them. It becomes difficult to maintain that loving relationship you once had. You have more feelings of anger and irritation towards them than of love and tenderness.

2. Your relationship becomes a competition

Your relationship is a partnership, a commitment to each other, an agreement between you two to be with each other. But when you both keep scores, it becomes a competition. You take note of all the times your significant other does something you do not like and vice versa. Love is quickly replaced by the spirit of rivalry.

3. You are sweating the small stuff

The things you keep track of are probably not that much of a big deal. They are things that can be overlooked. It could also all be in your head, and your partner might have no idea that they have done something to hurt you.

4. It gets you nowhere

Because no one ever wins when it comes to keeping scores, you both become frustrated. The more time you spend dwelling on things, the more irritated you get. You waste a lot of time that should be dedicated to your partner thinking about something that is not worth worrying over.

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