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Pamper Thyself!
Little Secrets

Pamper Thyself!

Yvonne Williams

Now, we all know that magically perfect day set aside to ignite new flames of passion, rekindle dwindling flames and I dare say haunt lonely singles, Mmm… oh yes, we definitely do, the much anticipated…Valentine’s Day!

With Valentine’s day just a breath away, the magical feeling of love begins to radiate from within and around us; Restaurants, boutiques and the likes opening their ever welcoming arms as they buzz in anticipation of great sales, likewise we preparing or should I say, ‘equipping ourselves financially and emotionally to enjoy that special day.

Emotional preparation…? Emotional preparation??? Now that’s pretty extreme!!! You might think – Well not quite cos we all do it. Wondering how? Let’s begin with a trip down memory lane, shall we; reminiscing our very first kiss, date, love… the list goes on and on. Consequently, varying effects are evoked depending on the side of the fence you’re on.

Obviously to the lucky few, it guarantees – “contentment,” while to many others “anxiety and horror.” The latter effect being especially true for the “lonely singles,” as mistakes of the past and love lost are recalled and probably fantasized about, forcing them to brace up for the questioning stares of others on that fateful day.

Unlike other days, Val’s day undoubtedly possesses the irresistible power to unmask our vulnerable inner selves, separate us as individuals and collectively bind us according to our similitude. The categories available? (Oh, you bet) – “Married couples”, “Single Couples” and of course “Lonely singles”. Well I guess the term “Married couples” needs no explanation, so we’ll skip that and go to the “Single Couples”, these are couples who are pretty close to tying the knot are in functional relationships and are definitely headed for the alter. “Lonely singles” on the contrary are those who aren’t in any functional relationship or any relationship for that matter!

At last! Val’s day arrives clothed with an ambience of merriment and accompanied by scent of roses, boxes of chocolates, teddy bears, wine it just goes on and on…                                                               Visually we see; Fancy restaurants even though filled beyond capacity opening their eager arms to customers, devoted men looking for ways to top up previous wowing attempts therefore creating “an almost everlasting impression” in the hearts of their true loves, others looking for gullible preys to warm their beds, bringing to life “unthinkable fantasies” and of course somewhat amusingly, ladies decked in the hottest trends ready to impress giggling and showing off their gifts in idle competition! – Hmm… Valentine indeed!!!

However ladies and gentlemen, beneath all the hype of this much celebrated day lies a whole baggage of depression for the divorced or lonely singles, who once again grudgingly awake from their single beds alone, wondering and wishing they could turn back the hands of time as the reality of time “running out” sinks in yet again and unmistakably, echoes of the unswerving clock aggressively keeps ticking with feigned bravado… -tick- tock – tick- tock… So Val’s day arrives for them with their echoes resounding, its silence deafening while they lock themselves up, wallowing in self pity, as they watch the almost beautiful day roll by in dreamy isolation (this they do by the way to avoid mumbling shamefacedly when confronted by their egotistical loud mouthed married equals about their not so “impressionable single status”).

Guess what guys? It really doesn’t have to be that way! Ever heard the statement – “Do more than exist, Live!” (John Mason) Exactly!!! I’ve discovered that true happiness doesn’t depend on your situation but rather on the perspective from which you choose to see things. Regardless of the fact that your knight in “Shining armor” or the “Woman of your dreams” seems to be lost in space, ladies I say, let your hair down, grab a sexy outfit, top it up with the finest piece of jewelry you’ve got, put those killer heels on and go catch fun! Oh, and guys go out there and show those ladies what they’re missing!

Right now, I can visualize some of you saying, “go on girl, preach like it’s that easy!… I also know that it seems like the “easier said than done” kinda thing, but guess what, it really isn’t. Here’s a tip, when depression about your present state comes to mind, consciously remind yourself about your achievements, take pride in them and feel good about them cos they’re yours and yours only for the taking. Always remember not all aspects of your life are in shambles, so why not celebrate those aspects worth celebrating on Val’s day!

In essence, stop waiting for someone else to do the magic for you to feel loved on Valentine’s Day, besides the arrival of that special someone is no guarantee of your happiness, so why not have fun…                             Take time out, pamper yourself, do those things you carve for and have a blast! You can go on a shopping spree, treat yourself to some exotic meals at the restaurant, take a trip to the cinema, spa or any other fun place. Ensure you spoil yourself silly instead of wallowing in self pity (trust me it doesn’t depend on the amount of cash to do something special for you).

After all said and done, if your melancholic mood still remains and you’re still likely to fall into depression, go out there and help the man on the street, believe me, knowing that you put a smile on someone’s face and probably gave him a treat will definitely make you feel worth something and perhaps loved (even if temporarily)

In closing I say be your own genie and make your dreams come true! Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!!