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Unhappy woman lying in couch
Unhappy woman lying in couch
Opinion

#Opinion: Space in Relationship doesn’t spell doom

Mfonobong Akpan

Often times people worry about loosing a relationship even before it starts, you treat it like an antic glassware – so much care –  to avoid a crack or total shatter. You get into relationships and it’s all or nothing – calls every other hour, endless chats –  you basically want to spend every waking moment with the person – like conjoined twins.

You get so carried away trying so hard to fit into the other person’s schedule and life. You believe spending so much time together would keep you glued to each other but the hard fact is that having space is actually critical to the success of a lasting relationship.

Checking in and spending time with your partner is great, but you may be perceived as a stalker when you sit around chewing on a donut like you’re some undercover SSS agent assigned to an ex con waiting to see what atrocities they would commit.

It is absolutely normal to desire closeness, but we also must understand that there are times when you or your partner need to have some “me time”. And when someone says, “I want to be alone” it doesn’t mean it’s a plot to gradually redraw from you.

You are first individuals before being partners, so even though you have your similar interests there are many other things you both naturally want to do alone and with other people which doesn’t have to directly involve your partner.

The main things to put into consideration is that you should mind not being seen as one who wants to choke the other person, respect and trust your partner enough to realise how important it is to respect their space.

Keeping a relationship alive needs memories and special moments. As much as it may be a couple thing, you need individual memories and special moments too to make up the togetherness that strengthens the relationship even more.

When you get some “me time” to engage in other activities and hobbies, you take the stress off and become an even more better, responsible, exciting and interesting person. So don’t be cynical about taking time off each other, enjoy the time you have and don’t feel guilty about it. Well as long as you ain’t cheating…