The Desperate Case of the One-Sided Love

The Desperate Case of the One-Sided Love

Titilayo Olurin

It was one of those long, torturous bus rides home after the close of work and I was just as bored as I was tired. The dangerously rickety parts of the yellow bus, the uncomfortable seat on which I sat, and the driver’s reckless driving did little to improve my mood.

Then I decided to fiddle with my phone, and as I went through my social media channels, I stumbled upon the quote, “You cannot love someone into loving you” on Twitter. Of course, this immediately caught my attention.

You see, I love LOVE – yes, you read that right! I absolutely love that strong feeling of affection called love. I love the heart skipping, butterfly fluttering, eye misting, and goose bumpy moments that come with being in love, especially if it is reciprocated. So, yes, I was interested in the quote about love; this quote that suggests that it is impossible to force someone to love you.

Maybe you have heard people say things like, you can make someone fall in love with you or you can change that person’s attitude towards you. But do you really believe it? Or is the stress even worth it? Think about the frustration, misery, and agony of continuously forcing yourself on someone who doesn’t love you back that you have to endure. Think about how you would feel if you had to smother someone with so much love and they refused to reciprocate.

While you’re dreaming about spending every waking moment with him or even having his kids and having a home together, he probably acts like you do not exist. Remember that the only person you have power over is you and not the person you’re in love with. You cannot control somebody else’s emotions, you can only control yours. So, trying to control, influence, or change someone’s feelings towards you when you don’t have the power to is like trying to force a camel through the eye of a needle. Besides, love is just more beautiful when it is reciprocated quite naturally without being forced.

Reciprocal love is one of the best things you can ever experience. You are on the same page with that person and you want to spend as much time with that one as he wants to spend with you. Then why suffer so much heartache over someone who doesn’t share your feelings? Love is a choice and the other person has chosen not to love you. No amount of “forcing” can make him change his mind about you, even if you do all the “wifely” duties imaginable. Perhaps it is time for you to let go and move on. Someday, your love would be reciprocated and it would be the best feeling ever.

Happenings Media